serendipity

They asked me if i could breathe this air
sleep in this room and still meet those eyes

grilled lines, meshed wires to block the dust
to block the sunlight
the heat
even the warmth
different needs for different people

craved needs
perpetrators of a sin
deciding what I would prefer
the sunlight or the view
I’d actually prefer you

but you shy away from your own feelings
therefore
You can not fit
grass sometime grows on the footprints on snow

the contact of warm feet on cold ice

the body chills even when it rains hot rain

warm, brown skin
my mother’s gold bangles, two on each wrist.

memories are made of home
as pathetic as it was
lies and thuds
dispassionate  sounds

made of fears and insecure lives
outside because of the inside

wishes of being as confident as the other kids
as peaceful as I was born on this hollow land
P 121 on the street eleven

sundays
and mondays
take a circle on the cycle on the return journey,
maybe the last words have been spoken and they have retired to sleep
to weep a long life that ends only when you die

But it did not really stop
the thuds
and the silence in return
the cycle rides increased in frequency
assignments got delayed some more

no time to think only time to cope
happy music is a lie
pulling your hair out more real
pleasant acquaintances
accidental meetings
they call it serendipity

they end as accidentally as they happened

meant to lie awake only till sleep doesn’t take over
the phone rings as long it is on silence
let’s go for a movie tomorrow evening
meet on saturday night and then
forget to say
nothing
nothings are nicer
nicer has a twang of warmth to it
like sibilance in s

as if they stutter just to elongate the time spent with me, and cut short the pauses.
Someone said to me
nothings are made of words unsaid
desires un-shared
and pushing down dreams that are to be lived in waking moments

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