I shall not call it love

I think
i know
too easily embroiled
in the matter of the heart
feeling sweaty
palms and legs moving
lips bitten to be wanted to be bitten

I wish i was free
No No No

 

to feel this is also to feel

i don’t want to feel this.
I am again getting swayed by a person
a human being
a comonner of uncommon proportions
no no no
not this time
not so easily
but why with so much difficulty
stop soaking in the pleasure of day dreaming.
fuck this shit.
i don’t even
no
yes
i am just using this to voyeuristic-ally run away from
because i am scared.
because he may harm my peaceful mind again.
you must face this annie,
annie without a capital A

running away from what again?
ugh

 

written 1 April, 2015

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