he tells you that you’re the perfect girl.
The nicest, funniest, most different kind of person he has ever met!
so many adjectives he pours, different
Hmm, everyone loves that word these days, its like it’s trending or something!
Cutie! he exclaims with his perfect voice, even the little tilt of the chin
Aah, you fall in a beautiful soft blue blanket of immaculately placed roses on the once parched window sill
‘It is all so lovely’ you say holding your tongue’s tip longer than needed to remind yourself of how your old impetuous little crush used to say ‘lovely’
A good soul, intuitively known to be nothing more than a crush, yet the silly childlike mind does wander
Aah, getting back to the more lovelier parts of this perfect man who had just met me
A few days later, he says he thinks you’re the forever kind of girl
He doesn’t say forever
He says future
You know the difference
But you don’t feel it yet
For so much love
Shit, he used that word
while he was drunk
What’s forever drunk
Aah, you’re being so cruel
He sees the discomfort in your eyes
And feels hurt
But you must be logical
Say the right thing, your hungry for love mind screams in all its chaos
You can’t tell him that it’s too soon
You wallow in guilt
And decide to feel what he is feeling
A few more days (weeks to be precise) and he no more thinks you’re perfect
But at the same time he knows all the things that will make you look just perfect
Aah, here’s the lovely catch
Just a few colors painted here, a few defective pieces fixed and some slight stitches and you’ll be the designer eye’s perfect little doll
But wasn’t I already p..
Uh, shush now
He’s just trying to help
Make me look more presentable and happier
You wonder why it even matters so much?
A day later you’re sure he’s not meant for you
After all, so many sentences have already begun with an ‘and’
and that’s not a good sign
A day later you decide to try harder
And while the previous day is still passing you by,
you tell yourself that he’s just trying to make you
a better person
Yeah right, so what if it makes you feel perfectly ugly
It’s a comfortable kind of ugly
But, sometimes he’s so warm
Maybe, you’re being too defensive
Too many walls and the past stuck to your forehead
It’s been a few weeks now, you tried to paint and stitch somethings.
Bought Kohl and thought about buying a lipstick and ordered those contact lenses
he no more thinks you’re perfect from inside
He thinks you’re too needy
Like a dog
He wanted a cat
Purrs when he wants you to and mostly nonchalant otherwise
( sorry for the cat stereotype)
But, I’m little in need right now
It’s a tough phase, I need someone
Oh please, quit making excuses
We’re all adults here
Too much love he says, too many clingy virus infliction’s!
We need some rules! He says
I can only meet you once a week.
He gets excited with that idea, sounds perfectly calculated.
We’ll think of each other for ten minutes after waking up and ten minutes before going to sleep.
One day of the week we will chill together and one night we will sleep next to each other.
Just sleep and maybe more if you’re not being too clingy.
All perfectly organised calculations.
What’s next ?
She’s being too dark and depressing, now!
Making him feel like a monster!
He’s just a normal man who’s confused
What’s so cruel about that ?
I’m an ordinary man, be my wife, he suddenly says after two months
You’re the same class, cast and emotion as me.
Yeah you are more intense maybe but you’ll grow out of it
After all there are three things by which we choose our life patterns
Financial, physical and emotional
Isn’t there the soul mate.
Where is he ?
The love that sets you free, that doesn’t have these walls and rules that doesn’t think wanting to spend time and feel loved as an abomination?
Where there is nothing called too much love and you look at me like the way I look at you?
Like you are the universe, beautiful and never-ending.
Pure and still evil.
Calm and still in constant chaotic evolution.
Too much ?
Shit, I got stuck again
Didn’t I ?
~ Written sometime in May, 2016 and added upon with a lot of dessert tonight!
I’m not sure why I accidentally re posted this with some additions. No deleting it, it shall stay.